Crazy Crooks

A woman got her ride all right, but not in a taxi. The woman mistook a cop for a cabbie. Authorities in Burlington, Washington say the woman hailed a car outside her home, thinking it was a taxi. But it was a sheriff's cruiser. The deputy was in the process of confirming a warrant for the woman's arrest when she walked up. One detective says it doesn't get any better than that for a patrolman. She got a free ride - to jail.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job.  According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking,"  stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop. 

 A man from Louisiana walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed? Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.

One bright spring morning in Lafayette, Louisiana, Louis Albright had the bright idea of robbing a local bank. Louis had and even more brilliant idea for a low-cost, low-fat, completely disposable disguise. He would cover his entire head with whipped cream. A few trial runs indicated his idea would work out beautifully. The foamy "mask" sprayed on quickly and was easily wiped off. It completely covered any disgusting marks, even his hair color. And it tasted wonderful. Congratulating himself on his innovative idea, the human hot-fudge sundae walked into the bank and approached the teller. Unfortunately, the employees' responses to his delicious disguise was just the opposite of what he wanted. The giggles were discreet at first, but when he said, "Put all your money in the sack," the giggles dissolved into open laughter.
By this time the whipped cream was getting warm and beginning to slide. And the teller had long ago punched the silent alarm. Before you could say "banana split," the police arrived. The rapidly melting bank robber was quickly arrested and refrigerated downtown.

A man accused of trying to steal hundreds of dollars of coins from a church left police a tip as he fled. James Drag was arrested when he went to the police station to claim the wallet left behind at the scene, authorities said. Drag, 37, was charged with burglary, criminal trespass, theft by unlawful taking and receiving stolen property. Drag is accused of trying to take $295.50 in quarters and $74.20 in dimes from St. Ann's Basilica in West Scranton on Sunday afternoon. He dropped the money, along with his wallet, while a parishioner chased him, police said. Police went to Drag's home and told a member of his family that his lost wallet was at the police station.

A Man decided to rob a K-Mart by cutting a hole in the roof a lowering himself down with a rope. Once inside he pulled down the rope and helped himself to every thing he wanted. When he had what he wanted he decided it was time to leave but realized that he couldn't get back out. He went to the home and garden center to get a  ladder,  it was a little short but he climbed up any way.  The ladder slipped and he fell and broke his leg and had to lay there till the store opened. After he got out of the hospital he was sent to jail.

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the panel off the machine, however, they pulled the bumper off the truck. Scared, they left the scene of the crime. Their bumper, along with their license plate was still attached to the ATM.

A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the cash, the man fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.

A man went into a drug store and announced his intentions to commit robbery. He pulled a Hefty-bag over his face to conceal his identity. He did not, however, cut eyeholes in the mask and was tackled by a brave customer.

A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serving a prison sentence. He gave the court a check--a forged check. He was sentenced to ten years.

A group of men arrived in a pizza shop one evening demanding cash and pizza. The group was only gone for a mere twenty minutes before returning to the shop. They were not back for more money, rather they were back to complain that the pizza they had received was quite undercooked. Lucky for them, police who had responded to the robbery were quite content to arrest them back at the shop.

A bevy of thieves thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline.

An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.

A Texas woman's car, along with her cellular phone, were stolen. Upset, the woman went into the local police station and reported the crime. The police officer called the woman's cellular phone number, when the woman heard her distinctive ring just a few feet away. The brilliant criminal had answered the phone while standing in line at the police station to pay a parking ticket. The woman identified the phone and the thief was immediately arrested.

While  shopping at the local grocery store, a man's car was stolen. Dumbfounded, the man stood on the curb trying to figure out what to do. His answer came just a few minutes later when the larcenist approached the man in the newly stolen vehicle and asked for directions.